5 Weeks! Or is it 2 weeks? Or 7 weeks?

As of today, we have exactly five weeks to go until NBA's due date. According to all of the reading we've done and classes we've attended, anything from 37 weeks on is considered "full-term." Up to two weeks after the due date is also considered normal. So, that means that NBA could theoretically arrive as soon as two weeks from today or as late as seven weeks from now. We're not exactly on the edge of our seats just yet. However, NewMom-To-Be did wake me up the other night as she was tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable. In my confusion, I thought she was going into labor and that we had to get to the hospital right then. Thankfully, calmer heads prevailed and I immediately went back to sleep. However, the "take to the hospital" bag has been packed and is sitting by the door. I am confident that I will grab everything else in the house on our way to the hospital, only to leave the all-important bag sitting by the door.

NewMom-To-Be is doing fine as she starts the ninth month of this fun-filled adventure. She thinks the baby has turned, as she is reporting frequent kicks to the ribs. Apparently, there is no longer enough room in there for NBA to swim laps. Sleep is going into a declining phase now, interrupted by kicking and frequent trips to the bathroom. She and I had a startling moment today when we both realized (OK, I realized...) that these last few weeks were the last time we'd get 6+ hours of sleep for quite some time. NewMom-To-Be is prepared for this, as we recently bought a chair to go in the nursery for her. While picking it out, I think one of the major criteria for NewMom-To-Be was "can I pass out at a moment's notice in this chair?" We picked a good one, and the saleswoman said that a NewMom would be comfortable snoozing in the chair while nursing the baby.

A few weeks ago, we went to the hospital's childbirth class to learn everything we needed to know for the delivery. We had to watch "the video." I don't think it was the most graphic version of the video, but it did leave us feeling overwhelmed with details. I think that by watching the video, we learned many things that we will not do. Here goes:

1) We will not have our entire families in the delivery room. We love you guys, but hey...you gotta draw the line somewhere. Some of those families in the video were NUTS!
2) An epidural will most likely be in the works. (This seems to be the 3rd-trimester question that NewMom-To-Be gets most often. 1st trimester = "When are you due?" and "It's gonna be a long, hot summer!" 2nd trimester = "Is it a boy or a girl?" followed by "Do you know what you're going to name him?")
3) I will not hip-chuck the OB out of position to grab the baby as he is being born. OK, it wasn't that bad, but there was something almost like it in the video. Honestly, I'm paying the doctor to deliver the baby and not drop him on the floor...I'll watch from the other end.

Other than the class, we've had a quiet summer here so far. I'm sure that things will get more interesting at our house soon. Just check back in two to seven weeks. =)

T-Minus 79 Days and Counting...

Well, all is mostly well in the land of the third trimester. Apparently from all the advice we've been hearing and reading, every woman's experience with pregnancy is different. Let me summarize NewMom-To-Be's pregnancy so far through my eyes:

The First Trimester
I refer to the first trimester as the "time of nausea." NewMom-To-Be's experiences there matched up with many of the things she had read or heard. Thankfully, her experiences in this trimester were of an average variety...she didn't get close to the extreme stories we heard of nausea. These were pretty scary and do not bear repeating here. Why any pregnant person who is currently experiencing the joys of nausea would want to hear these stories is beyond me. Many people were very eager to share their experiences, though. I have two hypotheses for why this might be:

1. Nausea/Pregnancy stories are the female equivalent of a "fish story," ie..."my nausea was so bad..." Really, how bad was it? "Well, since you asked..."
2. Women are competitive. My observations lead me to believe that there are two ways to win the pregnancy "competition." First prize goes to those who sail through pregnancy and sum it up with "Nausea? Oh, yeah...I felt pretty sick when I watched my husband cleaning the catbox." These women earn the jealousy of all pregnant women who are not so fortunate. I think that some of the women in the latter category would like to "share" some of their misery with those in the former category. Second prize goes to those whose nausea was so bad that it required all kinds of medical intervention. To them, goes everyone else's sympathy/empathy. It is well-deserved.

The Second Trimester

I will refer to the second trimester as the "time when clothes still fit." NewMom-To-Be had lots of cute maternity outfits. The most important thing about these was that they fit. NewMom-To-Be had a good time showing off her belly and enjoying the attention she was receiving. This time is now over, and with it goes the whole idea of clothes actually fitting. I will stop writing now before I get myself in trouble.

The Third Trimester

I think the current trimester could be described as the "time of the overprotective NewDad-To-Be." Maybe it is because I'm seeing NewMom-T0-Be's belly growing bigger every week, but I swear my whole attitude is changing towards protectiveness. For example, early in the pregnancy, I'd try to walk on the "outside" when walking with NewMom-T0-Be in a parking lot or on the sidewalk. Thoughtful? Sure. Probably not so effective when you're run over by a "crazy driver*" who is having a cell phone conversation that is more important than your life, but it's a nice thought anyway.

Now that we're in the 3rd trimester, things have changed. When walking into a restaurant today, we were crossing in front of some cars pulling into the parking lot. I felt like breaking out the blaze-orange vest, crossing-guard stop sign, and bullhorn. After getting cut off a few times on the highway and facing some more crazy drivers* trying to beat the left-turn light, I felt like putting strobe lights all over the outside of the car and one of those "student-driver" signs on the roof, only changing it to say "pregnant woman on board." It would probably be cheaper to stick with the "student-driver" text, though...everyone stays the heck out of the way of those people. =)

Perhaps I'll just start driving like those crazy drivers too. Maybe that will make everyone else stay far, far away from our car.

Oh, and I can already hear the fathers out there thinking..."He has no idea. Wait until he gets the job of driving NewMom and NewBaby home from the hospital." Hmm...two questions come to mind. First, can you rent a tank from the Army? Second, can you strap a car seat into one?

That's it from pregnancy-land. =)

*"Crazy Drivers" is a term coined by my father. I think he wrote the book on defensive driving. My take on learning to drive from him? Assume everyone else on the road is crazy. Thanks for the driving lessons, Dad. They're still paying off. =)

Geographic Expedition Team Visits Rural Georgia Town

A geographic expedition recently visited our little town. They discovered that when NewMom-To-Be is lying down, she is the second highest point in our little flat coastal plain county. The name they applied to their maps was "Mount Mommy." (*) Unfortunately, camera malfunctions prevented the team from taking pictures of Heidi, the Abominable Snow Kitty, while she was climbing Mt. Mommy.

NewMom-To-Be says that she has nothing new to report. Baby movements have increased in frequency and strength. I've felt NBA moving around many, many times now. A week or two ago, we both could feel him having spasms for several minutes. We felt silly when it took us a while to realize it was hiccups. The little guy must have been nervous about the upcoming NBA playoffs. You can groan now.

In the cool department, NBA's movements can now be detected without touching NewMom-To-Be's tummy. A well-placed kick caused a mini-earthquake on Mt. Mommy. Watching it was definitely an out-of-this-world experience. In other news, NewMom-To-Be's alarm clock went off a few mornings ago and woke the baby up. He started kicking right when the buzzer went off. I couldn't be prouder. If he is anything like his father, he'll quickly learn not to kick the covers off. Instead, he will learn that the first alarm is really just a suggestion and that the inventor of the snooze alarm really does deserve a prize.

We are starting to move in on serious baby preparations. We've picked out paint colors (who am I kidding? I just looked at the "chosen" sample and nodded my agreement). The Easter Bunnies from Lake Park brought us a great crib, and one of the Easter Bunnies took a fabric sample back to make some great stuff for the nursery. Long Live the Easter Bunnies.

After, or during, setting up the nursery, NewMom-To-Be keeps mentioning the necessity of going to "classes." Apparently all actual fathers know what I am referring to here, but will probably snicker in silence and let me suffer alone. The best idea I have of what is in store comes from my friend, Mike. In addition to inspiring this blog, his blog is pretty funny, too. See the post titled "Birthing Class."

That's it from Mt. Mommy-Land.

* = This term was coined by NewMom-to-Be and is used with her permission. NewDad-to-Be is not foolish enough to think that he would survive to be an actual father if he made up this name and posted it on his blog. He may try to make a flag and plant it in Mt. Mommy's belly-button before it pops out, though.

Brief or Verbose?

When I was growing up, I would often ask my mother a question. She had a gift for explaining things from many different angles, something that usually led to an endless conversation about the current subject. It was a good thing, really, but after a while I learned to throw up my hands and say "Enough! Mom, turn off the 'verbose mode' and go to 'brief mode'." I laugh about it to this day, because I think I answer questions in a way similar to hers. You see, it all started when... (just kidding) =)

In that spirit, I'll offer this blog to you in two forms. One is "brief mode" if you're pressed for time and the other is "verbose mode" in case you have time to read all of it. Here goes.

Brief Mode
NewMom-To-Be is doing fine. NBA is kicking and can be felt doing so quite regularly. Nobody cares about NewDad-To-Be anyway, so I won't waste your time on that. The End.

Verbose Mode
Things continue to go along well in NewBaby-To-Be-Land. We had another appointment with Christie's doctor two weeks ago, but there was no real news to report from there. Sadly, my time in the waiting room didn't result in any major inspirations. Perhaps that was because I remembered to bring a book!

Last week was our school system's spring break, so we had a great week of vacation. We're both counting down the school days (29 left!) until the end of the year. We're both enjoying our third year of teaching much more, but NewMom-To-Be is super-psyched about taking next year off. I'm looking forward to it too, not just because I'll be eligible for retirement years before her, but also for all the good father-type reasons. =)

NBA continues to grow and develop like a champ. NewMom-To-Be can feel him moving around all the time. I can feel him moving about 50% of the times I try. Something stranged happened the other day, though. NewMom-To-Be was reading in bed, and the baby wasn't moving at all. Our dog, Darwin, got up and stepped on Ginger (our other dog) and Ginger didn't like that one bit. She let out a high-pitched yelp. Apparently, our baby is not deaf, because at that very instant he kicked. Hard. We were in awe. Looks like we'll have to start watching what we say now...you never know what they can hear.

In other news, we finally managed to agree on a name for NBA. We had one or two versions at first, but we had to change it in the end. Several friends suggested thinking of a name, then saying that name over and over again in a stern voice to see how it "really sounds." #1 and #2 names were thankfully edited out by this process. #3 ended up being great, so we're going with that. What's that, you want to know the name? I'll post it here in four more months. =)

One last thing...due to the hard work of NewMom-To-Be, we are now officially registered for lots of baby gadgets. You can find us at JCPenny, Babies 'R Us, and Walmart. I tried to link directly to the page for the registry, but apparently that is beyond the skills of this humble NewDad-To-Be. If you go to the main page, each page has a link for registries. If you enter my name or NewMom-To-Be's name, you should find it pretty easily. And you thought I wrote this blog just for the fun of it... =)