The First Trimester
I refer to the first trimester as the "time of nausea." NewMom-To-Be's experiences there matched up with many of the things she had read or heard. Thankfully, her experiences in this trimester were of an average variety...she didn't get close to the extreme stories we heard of nausea. These were pretty scary and do not bear repeating here. Why any pregnant person who is currently experiencing the joys of nausea would want to hear these stories is beyond me. Many people were very eager to share their experiences, though. I have two hypotheses for why this might be:
- Nausea/Pregnancy stories are the female equivalent of a "fish story," ie..."my nausea was so bad..." Really, how bad was it? "Well, since you asked..."
- Women are competitive. My observations lead me to believe that there are two ways to win the pregnancy "competition." First prize goes to those who sail through pregnancy and sum it up with "Nausea? Oh, yeah...I felt pretty sick when I watched my husband cleaning the catbox." These women earn the jealousy of all pregnant women who are not so fortunate. I think that some of the women in the latter category would like to "share" some of their misery with those in the former category. Second prize goes to those whose nausea was so bad that it required all kinds of medical intervention. To them, goes everyone else's sympathy/empathy. It is well-deserved.
The Second Trimester
I will refer to the second trimester as the "time when clothes still fit." NewMom-To-Be had lots of cute maternity outfits. The most important thing about these was that they fit. NewMom-To-Be had a good time showing off her belly and enjoying the attention she was receiving. This time is now over, and with it goes the whole idea of clothes actually fitting. I will stop writing now before I get myself in trouble.
The Third Trimester
I think the current trimester could be described as the "time of the overprotective NewDad-To-Be." Maybe it is because I'm seeing NewMom-T0-Be's belly growing bigger every week, but I swear my whole attitude is changing towards protectiveness. For example, early in the pregnancy, I'd try to walk on the "outside" when walking with NewMom-T0-Be in a parking lot or on the sidewalk. Thoughtful? Sure. Probably not so effective when you're run over by a "crazy driver*" who is having a cell phone conversation that is more important than your life, but it's a nice thought anyway.
Now that we're in the 3rd trimester, things have changed. When walking into a restaurant today, we were crossing in front of some cars pulling into the parking lot. I felt like breaking out the blaze-orange vest, crossing-guard stop sign, and bullhorn. After getting cut off a few times on the highway and facing some more crazy drivers* trying to beat the left-turn light, I felt like putting strobe lights all over the outside of the car and one of those "student-driver" signs on the roof, only changing it to say "pregnant woman on board." It would probably be cheaper to stick with the "student-driver" text, though...everyone stays the heck out of the way of those people. =)
Perhaps I'll just start driving like those crazy drivers too. Maybe that will make everyone else stay far, far away from our car.
Oh, and I can already hear the fathers out there thinking..."He has no idea. Wait until he gets the job of driving NewMom and NewBaby home from the hospital." Hmm...two questions come to mind. First, can you rent a tank from the Army? Second, can you strap a car seat into one?
That's it from pregnancy-land. =)
*"Crazy Drivers" is a term coined by my father. I think he wrote the book on defensive driving. My take on learning to drive from him? Assume everyone else on the road is crazy. Thanks for the driving lessons, Dad. They're still paying off. =)
